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What not to do when writing fic, part 2
or, Karen reads fanfic and crazy shit happens in her brain
Part one.
1.
(it's worse when it also says "to Draco's cavern".)
2.
("Harry's tongue gave Draco's the right hook, knocked him (it?) out and was victorious in its quest for entrance to Draco's cavern."
No, I didn't actually read that. This is just the subtext i infer from the actual text.)
3.. oh, this one is probably my favourite.
(yes, this is a dubious Mel Gibson reference.)
4.
(it's a dick with a moustache and a thingie that official looking people have around their torsos. yes, i needed to clarify that because my drawing skills can only do so much. engorged member makes me think of puffy, self-important ministry officials. then again, most of them are dicks so maybe it's not so weird...)
5.
(i do hope you keep your bullocks in the cow shed and not the bedroom...)
that was all, thank you very much for your attention.
Part one.
WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN WRITING FIC
particularly of the x-rated kind
illustrated by yours truly
disclaimer: no cocks and tongues were hurt in the making of this. no bulls were assaulted. I take no blame if your eyes bleed, however.
particularly of the x-rated kind
illustrated by yours truly
disclaimer: no cocks and tongues were hurt in the making of this. no bulls were assaulted. I take no blame if your eyes bleed, however.
1.
(it's worse when it also says "to Draco's cavern".)
2.
("Harry's tongue gave Draco's the right hook, knocked him (it?) out and was victorious in its quest for entrance to Draco's cavern."
No, I didn't actually read that. This is just the subtext i infer from the actual text.)
3.. oh, this one is probably my favourite.
(yes, this is a dubious Mel Gibson reference.)
4.
(it's a dick with a moustache and a thingie that official looking people have around their torsos. yes, i needed to clarify that because my drawing skills can only do so much. engorged member makes me think of puffy, self-important ministry officials. then again, most of them are dicks so maybe it's not so weird...)
5.
(i do hope you keep your bullocks in the cow shed and not the bedroom...)
that was all, thank you very much for your attention.
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So funny, and you know how much the last one annoys me.
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i put that one up just for you :D
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:D Can't really miss out Remus and his bullocks.
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xD
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nope. XD
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OMG XDDD This is perfect and VERY educational! Everybody should read this!
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Also, YES, there's a hell of a lot of difference between a bullock and a bollock. At least I sure hope all men don't carry around a castrated male bovine in their pants!
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This is making me think of my own list of pet fic peeves. Which includes the use of the word 'rod' - which makes me think of the drain-unblocking company Dyno-Rod. Every. Damn. Time. (also 'rock-hard' - ouchie! and ohgod so many others that my sleep-deprived brain can't remember right now...but the tongues 'battling for dominance' etc is one that really gets on my nerves XDDD )
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oh, i made fun of 'rod' in part one :D haha yeah there are loads more out there, many of which i'm even guilty of (i'm fairly sure i've used almost all the ones i've made fun of myself at some point in my fanfic writing career.. XD) but ohgod the tongues. XD yes. XD
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oh yes, me too. XD